It May Be LEGAL, but is it RIGHT?

I have a delima that comes to me from time to time. One of my mentors, and someone I look up to in the radio business told me a long time ago, "Never burn a Bridge unless you have to. You never know when you may have to walk back across it someday." I use that not just in my professional life, but in my personal one as well.

This philosophy has allowed me to remain friends with just about all my former co-workers, mend the relationship I screwed up the most in my teens, and have the ability to work just about anywhere I have worked before. To my knowledge, only one or two people despise me, and one belongs in a nut ward, and the other tried to get me put in one, but belongs there as well.

My issue today is I have a friend going through a really rough time. Someone extremely close to her (soon to be ex) has hurt her in a way that no one should ever have to endure. Now, she has to part ways with this person.

The first instinct in this situation is to be spiteful and vengeful, inflict as much emotional damage as possible. She has asked my advice, and I told her she needs to be smart, protect herself as much as possible, but to also remember that since they shared part of their lives together (they were married), that she should also do her best to be fair and diplomatic. She may one day wish she had been more logical than emotional in her actions now. Her focus has been more about making sure she gets hers, and less on how things will be a month, or even a year down the road.

Don't get me wrong, I understand where she is coming from. I am by no means saying she should be a doormat. I however know you can protect your well being without trying to run your soon to be ex through the ringer in the process. It may look like fun now, but I have too many friends, several of them reading this shaking their head knowing we've talked about the regret caused by getting the short term satisfaction of being spiteful during this difficult time.

My friend has pulled a "legal" maneuver that she thinks protects her, but accomplished this by less than stellar means. In a court of law, with a smart attorney, it will get thrown out because of how it was obtained, and it will make her look deceitful to the judge, which could come back to bite her. I attempted to warn her of this, only to get told she asked (put the laundry list of people here) and they all applauded her for her initiative in getting this protection. In fact, she told me by saying "You know that (protection) you said was illegal, well I asked (laundry list of non-legal people) and they said it is too legal (SO THERE!)." I abruptly ended the IM conversation with, well good luck with that, and shut down my IM.

I ended it because there is no talking to someone who has twisted the deed(s) they have accomplished as justified. It doesn't matter if it was done by twisting an arm, or holding a ransom, or even more dastardly means. As long as they feel it is needed, they will not listen to logic or reason. My task was done. I tried to explain the long term consequences of the short term gain before she took action, but she had already talked herself in "I must do this" no matter the costs.

The point I make here is, in any relationship, you should always attempt to keep the channels of communication open. Just because you can do something to someone, doesn't mean you should. It doesn't matter how much this person hurt you, you should not sink to their level by attempting to "get them" in any form or fashion, no matter how much you think it will make you feel better now. The short term high from "the kill" will give you years of torture, waking in a cold sweat regretting the hell you raised.

I know from personal experience. I know from the long nights of sitting up with several friends as they went through the "I shouldn't have been such an ass phase" later in life. I know because I have had people come to me asking for my forgiveness because they (insert the pain here).

Now that I have that Dr. Phil moment out of the way, thanks for reading.

Doing a Special Post Wrestlemania 25 In Your Corner with Big Daddy this Sunday. Join us at 11PM EDT/8PM PDT for all the fun. Suppose to have a few old friends call in to say hi. Hoping to have a few of my wrestling friends lend their minds to the show. You can catch the show at: http://blogtalkradio.com/in-your-corner.